TODIEFOR - Back Together Again

Comments

1. OH HELL YEAH!

   Jeremy wrote on 06.07.2009 at 03:14

2. I would like to dedicate this article to Tero, who MUSt read all we wrote. Hope you will like it.
   
   It is translated from one Goth webpage, from their "Fan and other interesting things" section. Unfortunately, it was written in language, which is made for being funny, and so I am afraid I spoiled like 70% of fan just by translation.
   
   Though, hope there some of it still remains. This is it:
   
   "How to distinguish between different sorts of metal?
   
   Situation: A beautiful princess is imprisoned in a castle, guarded by a dragon. This is a story telling us what could happen if different metal musician would be given by a task of a knight.
   
   Power metal: Metal musician arrives, riding a white unicorn, escapes the dragon, saves the princess and makes love with her in a magical forest.
   
   Thrash metal: Metal musician arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and f**ks her.
   
   Heavy metal: Metal musician arrives, riding a Harley, kills the dragon, has a few beers and f**ks the princess.
   
   Folk metal: Metal musician arrives together with friends, who are playing the accordion, cello, flute, and many other unusual musician tools, dragon falls asleep (because of all that dancing). Then all of them leave ... leaving princess behind.
   
   Viking metal: Metal musician arrives on a boat, kills the dragon with his big axe, skins the animal, and eats it.
   F**ks the princess till she is dead, steals her belongings and before his departure puts a castle on a fire.
   
   Death metal: Metal musician arrives, kills the dragon, f**ks the princess, kills her and leaves.
   
   Black metal: Metal musician arrives at midnight, kills the gragon and impales it on a huge stake in front of the castle. Then f**ks the princess´ ass and drinks her blood during the ritual before he kills her. Then he impales her on a stake next to dragoon.
   
   Gore metal: Metal musician arrives, kills the dragon and scatters the inwards in front of the castle, f**ks the princess and kills her. Then he f**ks her again, rips her belly and eats her inwards. Then he f**cks what was left, burns her body to the ashes and f**ks it again.
   
   Doom metal: Metal musician arrives, sees how big the dragon is, thinks about the impossibility to conquer it, gets depressed and commits a suicide. Dragon eats him and has princess as a dessert. And that is the end of a sad story.
   
   Progressive metal: Metal musician arrives with a guitar and plays a 26 minutes long solo performance. Dragon commits a suicide because of being bored. Metal musician arrives to princess bedroom, plays another solo using all technics and melodies he learned in last year during his conservatory studies.
   Princess escapes and tries to find a Heavy Metal musician.
   
   Glam metal: Metal musician arrives, dragon starts to laugh while seing his looks and lets him pass. After he enters the castle, steals the princess her make-up and starts to paint the castle with pink.
   
   Nu-metal: Metal musician arrives, riding a Honda Civic and tries to fight a dragon. But burns to death after his bagged outfit sets on fire.
   
   Redneck metal: Metal musician arrives, riding a fichtl, makes dragon drunk, womit it, makes a princess 10 stupid children and the he goes to fetch a muck rake and mucks out the stable.
   
   Speed Metal: Metal musician overrides to death before he gets to castle.
   
   Speed metal (version2): Metal musician fast and simply runs to the castle, fast and simply kills the dragon with his voice, fast and simply f**ks the princess. And the same procedure he runs on other ten castles...
   
   NS black metal: Metal musician arrives, riding a Tiger tank, "hails" dragon to death and kills the princess with the gass, because she was not german origin.
   
   White metal: Some strange wanderers come with another part of cross of Jesus. Dragon burns the cross to ashes within a second and so they sent a crusade on it.
   
   Atmospheric metal: Before they reach the dragon, they die because of being tired of transporting all their musician tools.
   
   Speed metal 3: Metal musicians arrive and make a Mickey out of dragon. The dragon starts to cry and then dies because of sorrow. Then they start to make a Mickey out of princess, she joins them and together they leave to make a Mickey out of somebody else.
   
   Industrial metal: Metal musicians build a factory close to a castle and they all suffocate because of smog. A castle starts to decay and that is why the beautiful work of art of Glam metal musician is unavoidable lots.
   
   Symphonic metal: All orchestra comes and makes a big ant hill out of the castle. Dragon has provisions for winter time.
   
   Gothic metal: Metal musician arrives, domesticates a dragoon and leaves with princess to cemetery to enjoy the midnight view."

   mermaid wrote on 06.07.2009 at 16:07

3. Sorry, it is "FUN and other interesting things" section.
   
   Hope you had some fun.
   
   

   mermaid wrote on 06.07.2009 at 16:39

4. Thx for the translation mermaid. It was fun, especially the first half. Later it got a little over the top. I laughed the most about prog metal and 26 min solo. :-D

   TheSeer wrote on 06.07.2009 at 23:09

5. YES, YES, FUCKING YES :D:D
   JARNO THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH TDF is one of my fav bands and I'm soooo happy that you guys will be back toghter, words can't describe it :D:D:D

   Dalia wrote on 06.07.2009 at 23:44

6. Damn! Those are some good news guys ^^ Thx God Jape and the guys didnt give up on such a great band! Looking foward to hear your new album. The best of lucks with the band and hope to see you some day around South America ;D

   Kiske wrote on 07.07.2009 at 22:49

7. Mermaid, that is the most awesome thing I have ever seen you post. EPIC WIN.
   
   Just one question. What do those Goth asses have with prog metal?

   Jeremy wrote on 08.07.2009 at 23:16

8. @Jeremy
   
   thanks.
   But to your question: Goth asses with Prog metal?
   If you mean why this article was on Gothic webpage of one of our neighbouring country - I honestly do not know.
   Maybe they found it funny. After all - it was in "fun and other interesting things section"
   
   Metal is not too appreciated in here as such - older people believe that it is "satanic" music. If you want to find out about metal bands, you should go and see some webpages done by "minorities" - this one webpage is very excited about HIM: :-)

   mermaid wrote on 09.07.2009 at 11:10